Thursday, March 29, 2007

The World's Greatest Fraud "Copernicus the Liar"

There once was a guy who everyone thought was smart, his name was Copernicus. For those who don't know who I'm talking about perhaps this will refresh your memory.

Remember now?

Lookin a little fishy there Coperno, got some lies cookin behind those shifty eyes?

Anyway, he had a lot of fanciful theorys and wore fanciful tights. His lies about the universe sounded really good but were nothing more than a little fuzzy puffy ball with perfume smells and little litter things. Something about the Earth revolving around a big ball of fire that he so conveniently called the sun. Yackity Shmackity blah blah blah... looked something like this;

His daughter thought it looked better like this;

I agree.

"Oooh the center has to be HOT the center has to be HOT and I run around with wimpy tights like a skinny little fairy boy!" -Copernicus-

That's only because back in his day he'd never experienced one of these guys;

"Brain Freeze!"

This guy will stimulate your mind to a whole new reality and mental awareness. You can literally feel your brain thinking about the coldness; hurts like hell frozen over! Where's the heat now Copernicus? Maybe it wasn't his fault he never had the opportunity, because for a thousand years or so the Polish lost the recipe for ice. This was known as the dark ages and consequently everyone was mad as heck. Check it out;

"Cut this cursed warm brain out PLEASE"! -Knight-

We are more fortunate thank goodness. So the next time you enjoy a "Brain Freeze" few in the world's history have ever enjoyed; ponder the truth that I have come to know and join with me as I say;

The Truth. The End.


53 comments:

-KJ said...

Like I said. Intervention. Liza said she will bring the slurpees though, so I will definately be there.

-KJ said...

I noticed how Pluto was no longer in that solar system. "That's messed up."

Lyd said...

I hate those freaks who thought that it whoul be a good idea to take Pluto out. Just leave it be! It's been there long enough to be considered a planet!! Okay, now that you know my feeling on Pluto...moving on. I wish that Slurpees where the my sun. They don't have any up here. But not to worry, they will be next week and for the 5-6 months following that!

Lyd said...

Earlier today I told Cindy Sorensen that I should open a 7-11 up here in Rexburg and just find a manager or whatever to run it. I would just be the owner so that I could make some sweet mula from doing jack because it would be so freakin' busy. It would be the equivalent of the 7-11 by Ry's house. Sweet, sweet, Slurpees.

Alli Fantastico said...

Well said, dear cousin. I loved this, I may feature this on my next submission to 20/20. See, I send crazy wack funky stories to various news association, which I'm sure they love and adore, but are afraid to tell the world because of their truths. So afraid in fact, they put restraining orders on me. Now ain't that somethin'?

Also, I seriously feel so sad for Pluto. It would be like kicking the tiniest cousin out of a family party because they were "too tiny, ew!"

...poor poor Pluto. C'mere Pluto, I'll show you love.

Ryan Nelson said...

I tried to acertain the truth many times during hours of lamp-lit nights in my small cramped dormitory. Yet, as I openned my mouth in Physics yesternight to compart my thoughts about how the strong force in nuclii is actually the vicitude of stickiness found in minute slurpee particles I called "slurpgons", much like quarks and other subatomic particles that are so out-dated in actual scientific thought, that I was laughed to scorn by those fools we call professors. Sure that was a long run on sentance but brilliant minds are never good with punctuation. Moral of the story, this world is more made up of slurpee then the slurpee is made up of the world. Why do you think it took 7 days to create this earth??? Because it was so sweet and delicious to form.

-KJ said...

Well said. So why did you need to cheat off my anatomy papers? Oh, thats right. Laziness. LOVE IT!

Lyd said...

I love how I can read Ryan's as though I am listening to his thoughts as it should be spoken. I am related to people with such brilliant minds!

Ryan Nelson said...

Those anatomy papers were GOLD. I loved how if I forgot to do a colored anatomy project I'd just do the cover page and use the rest of yours. He told me I always did a good job.

-KJ said...

Slick.

Michelle said...

Hey Eric and Bree- Spenceer and I were checking out your blog last night and laughing at your videos. You should feel special because Spencer never even reads my blogs. Hope you guys are doing good. Sounds like it.

Ryan Nelson said...

I have now limited myself to one 28 oz. Slurpee a day. I just want to see if I can do it. Self mastery.

Eliza said...

So do you always get coke ones or do you try others?

-KJ said...

I'm not afraid to mix it up, but they have to be at the perfect consistancy. Cokes I don't hold to such a high standard. If it is kinda frozen it works because you can actually walk out of there with a 7lb. slurpee. I never, ever make slurpee suicides though. Never.

Little E said...

Liza I only get the coke ones of course; but sometimes I go in there and it's defrosting so I gotta go to another 7-11 a mile or 2 away. I've learned however that the perfect consistencies are found in the Springville main st 7-11 between 4-5 pm and Provo 300 s. between 1-2 pm; they run on the same cycle you see. So whenever you get a real good consistency just remember the time and place and you'll never go wrong!

Ash-ah-leee! said...

we are insane in the membrane!!! must be from all the brain freezes I guess!!! I had one last night and I might add that I had more than one flavor in it!!! Only because I wanted to try the new berry pomergranate one... HOLY FLAVOR!!! Never again you see!!! Then I had a bit of Mtn. Dew to top it off...there was a bit of Cherry. But most of it was Coke!!! I either get just coke or I mix it up to make a cherry coke! I usually go to the one on 5th W and Bulldog! I always forget about the one on 300 S. (and freedom isnt it?)

Let's partee!

Eliza said...

I too have been known to go to more than one 7-11. AND It seems like coke is always the one with that damn light on. I think the record for me has been 3 different stores just to get coke. Thanks for the heads up E. NO suicides but like ash a dollip of cherry is nice on top. AND KJ...I LOVE when they are the 7lb ones!

Lyd said...

The only problem that I have found with the 7 pounders, is that you have to move your straw around a lot and this is no good when you are driving 75 mph between a wall and a semi. I can't wait to have a coke Slurpee in 3 days!! Yipee!

-KJ said...

Ash! Seriously! Four flavors? Only combos of two. I found that if you mix cherry and orange-pineapple you get a 32 oz. big stick! Yummy. I have a hard time doing it though because I am always afraid that when I drive away I will wish that I got a coke. So I just get a coke.

Eliza said...

KJ...ME TOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Little E said...

True story, When I was in Vegas getting my tooth worked on last weekend we went to the old home ward and saw John the new convert next door neighbor there. He told me that he was now a chofer for celebrities in Vegas. Anyhow, later on I started cracking up uncontrolably in sacrament meeting because of how freeking rediculous it was when I realized that for the last 20 minutes or so I'd been daydreaming how you could probably be known as the coolest chofer among the celebs if you only made sure to buy a few extra Coke slurpees on the way to pick them up so they could have one on the way to where ever they were going! Haaah! Tells you what I think the coolest think is a person could do for me. Holy crap! I turned to Bree unsure if I should admit what was causing me to laugh so hard for fear she would think I was seriously addicted. Turns out I was right; this week she asked me to set a goal to only drink 5! How am I ever going to get by?!! Ha, ha.

-KJ said...

Funny story, even funnier is that pretty much every time I look at you when you are "day dreaming" I wonder what weird little scenario is this guy thinking up! Sadly, I am the same way, probably just not as bad as you.

Ash-ah-leee! said...

dont worry kj!!! It only seemed like a coke slurpee because I got about 1/2 cup to 3/4 cup of non-coke and then 6 lbs of coke!!!

Im just a coke person though...funny story there Eric! we are insane!

Eliza said...

I gots me a coke slurpee right now!!! (a 40 of course).

Ryan Nelson said...

I'm a cherry coker. I love cherry coke at movies so I try to recreate it with slurpees. Yet, if the coke is heavy, I'll straight coke it. Thats why I always fill up on coke firet, to see if it's light or dense. Pina colada reminds me of summer, but only a dab will do. And I remember that laughing in church Eric, I wasn't surprised. But you do daydream all the time. I love it when your face changes like 5 times in ten seconds. It's like a fast action play up in your bucket.

Eliza said...

Pina Colada tastes like Wet n Wild to me. Bleh! (although I do like wet n wild just not it's taste)

Ash-ah-leee! said...

wet and wild makes me think of urine pools!!!

Eliza said...

willy willy

-KJ said...

Bubble Up, break your neck.

My fave look of E's when he is daydreaming is when he raises his eyebrows, lowers the corners of his mouth, and nods a little!

Lyd said...

They got rid of the Bubble up (not to mention the whole park), prolly for that very reason.

-KJ said...

It would have been fun to look at some pictures of your baby's first Easter, but you don't have one ;)!

Eliza said...

i remember going on bubble up and being so self concious because I would pray that I would make it up to the top without slipping down while everyone was watching. Then I loved the feeling of taking the big jump and giving mahself major whiplash....fun times.

k E and Bree....new post! I know you've got something to say...how's the 5 slurpees a week going?

Lyd said...

Oh, those whiplashing days were the best weren't they!? And not to mention the butt cheek's of fire from the Der Stuka!

-KJ said...

I never went down Dar Stuka! I didn't dare! Tee hee! Funny thing is that I don't think I would have given it a second thought now.

Lyd said...

Well you didn't miss out. It's just like getting the world's worst wedgie and then trying to pull it out once you hit the water before anyone can see your butt!

liufamily said...

I know all of you are die hard slurpee addicts, but I must say that I prefer the cream slushes at Sonic!!!! Who can top a slushy with ice cream? YUM!!

-KJ said...

Ohhh, they have these things called Rainbows at a little ice cream place by my house, and you can get a fresh lime rainbow, and it tastes just like Paul Harber's lemon ice cream. I know I said LIME, but the whole creamy citrus thing tastes home made. Yummo!

Lyd said...

Mmmmm! True that Kissy! I need me one of those!

Eliza said...

Dar Stooks also left you with a loverly horizontal welt on the upper mid-section of your back....I HATE drinks with ice cream cause I can't handle the melted cream..bleh!! If I ever have a rootbeer float..I quickly eat the ice cream and then dump out the rest!

-KJ said...

These are actually good cause the ice cream doesn't melt. Maybe that's cause I only get a small and I eat it in about 30 seconds! I am the same way with root beer floats. Actually I put in about 3 scoops of ice cream and a half cup of root beer. Then it just becomes a root beer freeze or something. Those are tasty if they are thick!

Ash-ah-leee! said...

Stace...yes! the cream slushes are awesome! I hart them

Um Kissy...I never went on that stoopit ride either. Yay! I've finally met another who hasn't. I attempted it once and freaked out. Then Taylor started to pummel me with his baseball hat. I was freaking out even more of embarrassment now...then he went down the slide and I ran back down that spiral ramp but before I reached the bottom Tay was already running back up the ramp ready to drag me back! Then I had to go through that horribleness again...My dad was at the bottom in church clothes yelling at us to come down...but Tay said the only way down to the bottom was on the slide...FORGET YOU! I didn't go and I was the one who got in trouble...

How that worked I'll never know! Funny taylor... :,(

Ryan Nelson said...

I went down DER Stuka backwards, headfirst. Champ. That's right. But man oh man I had to grab my pants cause they wanted to fly off. Good times to never be had again... :(

liufamily said...

Braden went down dare-stook-aaaah!!! And at the top he saw his teacher. I was at the bottom waiting and Im glad the teach went first, cause then he would have seen her siut malfunction!!! That stuff could scar a kid!!!

-KJ said...

Yikes!

Lyd said...

That's awesome.

Ash-ah-leee! said...

oops!

brock said...

remember bombay? the dumb life guard almost took mine when he pushed the trap door release button while the whole missile thang was still movin, the idiot then asked me how i broke it.

Eliza said...

or Bonzai Boggan....you would pray to make it all the way with out hitting the center inflatable guard or tipping.

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